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God at the Wheel

    On March 3rd, my family and I were making the nostalgic 2-hour drive from my hometown of Kaukauna, WI to Madison, WI. I have been driving this route for over 8 years! If a route could talk! It was my path from my high school career to the first day of my (all too long) college career. My wife and I drove it the day after our wedding to move into our first apartment together. But of all the memories I have on countless drives, the drive on March 3rd may have been the most impactful, even with its mundane experience. As the norm, my kids were talking themselves to sleep in the backseats, and my wife just started to drift off. On the radio, our family’s favorite song came on, “Fear Is A Liar” by Zach Williams. I can’t really tell you the amount of times I’ve heard this song, and just like a Sunday hymn, I started to belt out the words. Except, I couldn’t get past the first three words. I couldn’t hear my own voice, only the voice that seemed to fill every void in my minivan – including my heart.

“When he told you you’re not good enough, when he told you you’re not right, when he told you you’re not strong enough, to put up a good fight…” Those words penetrated my ears and all I can say is, truly thank God, that this drive is almost automatic for me. I felt warm water start to fill up my eyes, and there was no holding the dam back. It was the most silent cry I’ve ever cried in my life. With 3 sleeping kids and 1 sleeping pregnant wife there I was at the steering wheel…He truly picks some bizarre times to speak to us. Why was I crying? The simple fact was that I was afraid. Prior to this song, I was planning out my week in my head – it was looking about as hopeless as the weeks before. See, I am a doctoral student; I work 3 jobs to help provide for my family and to allow my wife to be the amazing director she is at Biking for Babies; where she is also my “boss” as I am the volunteer Director of Health and Wellness. I have 3 beautiful kids and 1 in the womb. My life is perpetually crazy. Through the writing, the data entry, the hours covering sporting events, the classes I take, the lesson plans to make, the missionaries I support, and the family I am charged to raise at home…I had been hearing for the past several months these words, and NOT from the radio: “Kevin, you are not good enough, you are not strong enough, you are not smart enough, you are not worthy of any of this, you do not have enough faith.”

    If I get to Heaven, the first thing I will ask God is how many times He had to hit me over the head in my life to get my attention. THAT myAt The Helm_thumb[17] friends, is most likely a countless number. On this allegorical sea called my life, I was trying to captain my ship. And all I saw ahead were thunderstorms, hurricanes, typhoons, whirlpools, sea monsters, shark-nados and the likes. And at the helm of my ship, I was frozen. And in this moment that song was a tap on the shoulder, and I looked back and saw Christ. He was laughing, we’ve been here before. At the end of that song, I wiped my face, let go of the…ship’s…wheel and watched Him do what He does best. Direct my life. As I write this (now March 7th) has my life gotten any less crazy? Of course not! Christ has never led me away from the storm, only ever safely through it – even with sharks stuck in tornados whizzing around my head. Like I have said, this is not the first time I have been overcome by fear and the lies of the Devil…and unfortunately it will probably not be my last.

    However, thanks be to God, because the first time I truly had this same experience of relinquishing control was on my first year with Biking for Babies. And that leads me to the charge I give you all who read this. This month, we will accept our 2019 missionary team. Several other executive team members and I have been interviewing some of the most passionate, devoted, and loving missionaries this country has to offer. To say I am excited for the 2019 national ride is an understatement. However, I know something they do not…yet. They will be told they are not good enough. They will be told this battle is too big for them. They will be told they are not strong enough. They will be told that they are completely alone. They will be told they do not have enough time. How do I know? Those are the same lies I heard on my 1st trip with Biking for Babies, my 2nd trip, my 3rd trip… Fear, the Devil, is a liar. “He will take your breath, stop you in your steps.” My brothers and sisters in Christ, I ask you from this day until July 13th, PRAY vigorously for our missionaries. They will be told countless lies in the months leading up to the ride and countless more during it. We are told, “For the Spirt God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7) Our executive team, our supporters, our missionaries…you, we will all face storms ahead. We need to stand with each other in prayer, in charity, and in love. If you know a missionary, let them know you are praying for them. Better yet, send them encouraging notes, letters, e-mails etc. during their months of preparation. Help them to take the hands off the wheel of their own ship. Encourage them to hand it over to Christ, and to roll up their sleeves and man the ropes. Because the storm is ahead my friends, but, with your help, our missionaries will meet it with joy. And they will not listen to the whispers of the wind. They know, fear, he is a liar.