by Sarah Hirshfeldt, guest writer for Biking for Babies
When people ask me what I do for a living, my response goes something like this: “I work for Baby Steps, a nonprofit that supports college women who experience unplanned pregnancies so they can stay in school and have their babies. We offer anything from free housing all the way to community with other student moms.” In my two years of serving Baby Steps as the full-time Live-in Support, I’ve never met anyone who didn’t learn about the organization and quickly recognize the need that exists for non-profits like it. Despite differences in religious and political views, most people see the good in empowering a college student to receive her degree and be the best mother she can be, which is why Baby Steps is well respected and celebrated in the Auburn community.
Before I began working at Baby Steps, I didn’t think much of pregnant and parenting college students. In my four years of undergrad at a large state school, I probably saw one student who was pregnant, and I’m pretty sure she was married. It’s bizarre to think that during all of that time, and with as frequently as college students have sex (despite efforts to contracept), seeing a pregnant college student was and is quite shocking in most places.
Of course, understanding why pregnant students on college campuses are so few and far between isn’t shocking; most students who find themselves in this situation either drop out of school, go into “hiding” to avoid the glares found on campus, or end their pregnancies. The reason I believe in Baby Steps so much is because it provides real options and true freedom. It’s a support system that says, “Despite how you may feel, you are not alone, and you can do this. Is it going to be easy? No way. But will it be full of the mess that makes life extraordinary? Absolutely.”
Not that long ago, someone asked me how I relate to the student moms who I work with even though I’ve never been a student mom myself or even experienced an unplanned pregnancy. Trust me, there are plenty of things I experience for the very first time through my friendships with the student moms and babies I walk beside (like managing to sooth a screaming baby covered in vomit, place her in a tub – fully clothed – and not let her drown. That’s a victory, if I do say so myself…).
However, working with student moms has affirmed that relating to and supporting one another is not something that is possible only if we have had identical experiences; relating to and supporting one another is possible because we are human.
I have never experienced the great battle of breastfeeding, but I do know defeat and disappointment. I haven’t personally navigated through an unsteady relationship with the father of my child, but I do know heartbreak and doubt. I don’t know what it’s like to feel rejected by my parents and sorority sisters, but I do know isolation and loneliness. If I truly want to honor and uphold the dignity of others, I must first believe that people are people, and we’re all in this mess together.
When I look into someone’s eyes, either a student mom at our weekly family dinner or a stranger I pass on the sidewalk, I experience an invitation to see the other as someone to behold, no matter who they are. Every day I’m presented with countless opportunities to choose to gaze at their humanity and be moved by it, or to choose comfort and passivity.
Will I lose my patience with a student mom who’s cancelled plans again, or will I give her the benefit of the doubt considering all of the things she’s juggling? Will I choose to ignore the dishes piling up in the sink, or will I clean them out of love for those who used them last? Will I choose the self-checkout line because I don’t feel like connecting with an actual human, or will I step outside of myself and offer the cashier an authentic, “How are you?” Will I come home and shut my door because I’m too emotionally exhausted to tell my housemate about my day, or will I leave my door open in anticipation for her arrival?
Despite how often I selfishly choose myself over the radical generosity to the people in front of me, my last two years has given me an abundance of opportunities to try again. May I embrace every moment I have left, practicing the fullest and most joyful way of life I have ever known.
Sarah is Baby Steps’ current full-time Live-in Support. She graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies in 2015 and joined the Baby Steps team in the summer of 2017. She combines her love of college women with her experience working for various nonprofits to bring passion and zeal to the Auburn community.
